I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
