she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
