oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
