Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
