I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
