you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
