the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
it's like heaven, but drunker
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
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This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
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The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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