I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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