You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
