Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I need to sanitize my soul.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
