I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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