The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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