i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
