i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
