a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
