is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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