i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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