so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
