standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize