we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
