My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
