we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
