She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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