i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
