I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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