so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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