i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
