I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
