I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
