when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
