btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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