I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
