Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just saw a hot homeless man
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
