I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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