Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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