I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
