Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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