I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
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In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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