worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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