Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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