so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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