3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
