I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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