Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
