Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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