She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
this will be a night to untag.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
