We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
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just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
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Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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