is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
