bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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