I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize