There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
