There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
