I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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