so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
