I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
