she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
