Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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