Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
ugly people sure do ruin things
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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