Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I look better un-naked...
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
