Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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