Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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