its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
