I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
