how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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