Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
